Shut up and eat

Just a short note to say that Shut Up and Eat is closed.
For further commentary on food and my life in the kitchen, please go to oranges and tomatoes.

I just had the poor man's version of a latte. No, it wasn't instant and no I didn't panhandle outside the local coffee house.
Just brewed a tiny pot of coffee; heated some non fat milk in the microwave, then whisked this with a fork to frothy heights, and finally poured in the coffee. Cheap and easy.

I’m having dinner over at a friend’s house. It is shear bedlam – as she has a family of five children. The noise level alone is decibels too high for normal conversation – and there is food flying everywhere. I feel the need to find rain gear.

My attention is drawn towards one of her middle sons, who declares that he doesn’t like the crust. I am intrigued, as nothing on his plate has a crust. His mother rolls her eyes and shouts above the din of children chatter that he thinks the outer edge of every food is crust. I watch as he eats only the center of each mound of food on his plate. (This is the same child who previously had to smell each bite of food before he allowed it entry into his mouth.)

Meanwhile, his younger brother has shoved two long french green beans up his nose and is pretending to be an alien. I find it hard not to laugh and in fact have to excuse myself from the table to have a good chuckle in the hall away from these dinner table antics. Brings back memories.

Let's suppose you are hungry. It's Thanksgiving. You don't have a turkey, no dry bread for stuffing and none of your friends are pilgrims. What to do? Hmmmm, your cupboard yields exactly one can of cream of mushroom soup, a box of stale Wheat Thins and a jar of olives that you kept from the office Christmas basket last year. You may starve. You may heat the soup and give thanks that stale crackers aren't so bad once they've soaked in soup.

Or you could make tacos. Go to the store - buy the following:
1 lb ground beef or turkey (hell it is Thanksgiving)
1 package of Mrs. Grasses Onion Soup
Chili powder (you'll need about 2 tablespoons +/- for your spice tolerance)
Shredded Cheddar cheese (about 1 cup)
Salsa
1 head iceberg lettuce (use half head, finely shredded)
1 bunch cilantro (wash the whole bunch, remove stems, then coarsely chop leaves)
1 dozen corn tortillas
corn oil

Now - heat the ground beef over medium high heat, breaking it up with a fork, add dry onion soup mix and chili powder, cover and cook about 5 minutes, remove cover and break down meat into very small pieces - a mashing motion with the fork works best. Reduce heat slightly and continue cooking, covered until meat is done.

Set cheese, shredded lettuce and chopped cilantro in serving bowls.

Heat cooking oil in frying pan - about a 1/2 inch or so - enough to cover one tortilla flat. When oil is bubbly, but not smoking, fry tortilla in pan, folding in half to create a taco shell. Cook until crisp on both sides, remove and drain on a paper towel. Continue frying tortillas until all have been cooked.

Assemble taco: Place a couple of tablespoons of meat into the shell, top with lettuce, salsa, cilantro and cheese.
Eat. Have tequila shooter for dessert.
Use any leftovers to make taco salads tomorrow for lunch. Brag to coworkers that you didn't fall asleep after your Thanksgiving meal and you got to drink tequila.

I learned late this evening that the landlord has agreed to install a garbage disposal in my kitchen sink. My prehistoric closet sized food factory is about to become modern. Wooohooo! After years of feeding the bucket, diligently scraping dishes, doing my best to make sure that some errant blob of food didn't make its way to sea via the drain from my kitchen sink - I will now be able to make slop with the best of them.

In other food news - ok, I'm back. To writing. And cooking.

Tonight, for instance there's a chocolate layer cake in the oven.
Recipe courtesy of the Fanny Farmer Cookbook. Frosting recipe courtesy of my sister: Queen of the Cakes. The girl makes a mean cake and decorates cakes to boot. I claim none of this talent, although, I think I do make a good brownie.
Anyway, said cake is in the oven. Frosting is waiting on the counter. I pray when it's all over to have made a Suzy-Q cake. Hopefully this will turn out. Otherwise I resort to Plan B - go buy a birthday cake for an office co-worker.

Fudge Layer Cake
4 tablespoons Valhrona cacao powder
6 tablespoons water
1 1/2 cups sugar
1/2 cup shortening
1 teaspoon vanilla
3 eggs
2 cups cake flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
2/3 cup milk

Method
Preheat oven to 350ºF. Butter and lightly flour two 9-inch round cake pans. Place cacao powder, water and 1/2 cup sugar in sauce pan over medium heat. Stir constantly until well mixed. Remove from heat and set aside.
Cream shortening and remaining sugar until light and fluffy. Add vanilla, beating until well blended. Add eggs, incorporating one at a time, beating thoroughly after each addition. Sift the flour, baking soda and salt together in a separate bowl. Add dry ingredients alternately with the milk in three parts. Add the chocolate mixture, beating until well blended. Pour batter into pans. Bake for 35-40 minutes or until a straw inserted into the center of cake comes out dry.
Cool in pans for 10 minutes, then turn out cakes onto racks. Frost.

source:The Fanny Farmer CookBook (with my apologies for any inaccuracies and substitutions)

Frosting
2/3 cup shortening
1 1/2 cups confectioners sugar
1 1/2 teaspoon vanilla

Method
Cream - no, I think the actual instructions were, "Beat the hell out of..." shortening, sugar and vanilla until frosting appears light, and white in color. Aproximately 10 -15 minutes.

source:my sister (I apologize for nothing)

Truth is, Whit is a baker. You know, the kind that has done it for so long, she doesn't measure. And often times she cheats (uses boxed stuff, crutch items - because, Hey! who has time anymore to make it from scratch?) So the frosting portion is my best guess on quantities. Since I throw meals together by taste and sight - I admit exact measurements are a chore - but for pastries, unless you know what you're doing, keep those measuring cups and spoons handy.

Photos of said cake to follow later.

A sugary, buttery cookie made of what tastes like phyllo dough has no business being crisped in the toaster.
I tried it with great success, only to discover that remnants of said cookies cause flames when oh, let's say you decide to toast a bagel.

Imagine my surprise, when I discovered that my toaster doubles as a flame thrower. Luckily, I was standing watch and quickly turned off the machine before major damage was done. I think the toaster still works. Happily, the bagel was spared.

I'm sweating in the kitchen doing my prep work for a meal I'm to provide for a meeting tomorrow evening.
I think, god I hope these people appreciate this meal - and then I think about nothing in particular, enjoying the actions of chopping, slicing and mixing. My mind jumps to something I just read in a book by W. Somerset Maugham:
...the writer should seek his reward in the pleasure of his work and in the release from the burden of his thought; and, indifferent to aught else, care nothing for praise or censure, failure or success.
Shouldn't this apply as well to a cook?